Turbofire day 2: feeling good

Today marks two days into the 20 week turbofire challenge!  I just finished up the second workout of the week. Turbo Fire 30 class.  It is probably one of the easier classes in the system that I have done.  It's definitely the shortest...I think. Man I felt everything though. My heart is racing!  In a good way though.  My lung are on fire and all.  It is such a nice feeling to exercise. It is an acquired feeling though.  You don't like it all the time, I think you learn to love it though.  I have no clue how to use my heart rate monitor though...oh well.  I can't tell how many calories I have burnt but I can see my heart rate and the recovery score. Which I'll just be honest...it's a 6. I'm not sure the scale they use but I know it tells me that I am at a "poor" score right now. It's ok, I'll improve! 

It has been 7 full days since I last had a soda.  I feel so much better. I haven't really craved one either.  I have been drinking at least 70 oz of water a day and I'll have a glass of milk or tea as well.  Overall I think I am doing much better on that front. 

I am a work in progress.  I am so glad that some of you are along to see my journey.  I have done this before, but it wasn't the right way. It was a quick fix to a long term problem.  This time I am doing it right. This is going to be my new life.  I can't wait to show you everything that I am going to accomplish. 

This weekend I am climbing my mountain again. tomorrow is a rest day I believe, so I am just going to go for a walk.  That seems easy enough.  If you have any questions on how I am doing this please comment, shoot me an email, message me on facebook...I'm around.

www.facebook.com/thechroniclesofjennifer
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www.twitter.com/effin_fabulous
madamejenn88@gmail.com

Lets do this together

xoxo

The Journey of a lifetime starts with one small step

Beginning on Monday, I am joining my very first challenge group.  I am pretty excited about it.  Looking at myself in the mirror is soon going to be something I am not afraid of! That thought alone is simply enough to help me get by.  Just the knowledge that I am going to be doing something, and I'm not going to be doing it alone makes me extremely happy.

In other news, I have not had a soda all year!  Now I know that we are only four days in...but hey small steps climb mountains.  I am feeling so optimistic about this year and I hope it is contagious. 
To begin my journey I am going to be doing the BeachBody program: TurboFire.  It is a kick ass workout that gets you so energized.  I have an entire 20 week schedule that I intend to finish all the way through!  As for a meal plan, I just really intend to cut out a lot of the crap.  I figure the only way this lifestyle change is going to stick is if I keep it as real as possible.  The goal is to get and remain as healthy as I can. Therefore I am not going to lie to myself and say I am going to eat correctly all the time.  My goal is 80/20. 

Have you ever really stopped to think about death?  Lately I have, whether it be by something I have seen on tv or read in a book, I can't get it out of my mind.  The thought of me doing something that could result in my untimely death is sickening.  That is  why this is so important to me.  That is why my fitness and health is going to be one of my top priorities this year. Now I am aware that every single year every person in America makes the resolution of losing weight or getting healthy.  If you don't believe that I will stick with it then I invite you to stick around.  I intend to lose 50 lbs this year, maybe more.  If I don't then I will gift three lucky people a months supply of Shakeology.  The only thing to qualify is you must follow me on social media.  You can start with this  blog.
Instagram: www.instagram.com/effin_fab_fitness
Facebook: www.facebook.com/thechroniclesofjennifer
twitter: www.twitter.com/effin_fabulous

So follow me along on my journey, if I fail it could be your gain.  Tell your friends.  Get them to follow me as well.  Hold me accountable. The more people that follow along the more I will raise the stakes.

xoxo

2013 part deaux

Happy 2014!  It is the first day of the new year.  As you saw with my last entry, so much has happened.  There really aren't many words left to explain the year...so I have included some pictures that will help me along the way. They are not in chronological order

To end a year of much effort at work, we have a fun little party for the BEST Champions...as you can see...we played lots of fun games.  Just so you know, I did get it in my mouth.

After the party we went to lunch.  This girl has quickly became one of my really good friends.  She is one of the people who saved me from myself.  I owe her a lot. 

This year I turned 25! Hooray for cheaper car insurance!!! These are my party peeps :)

This is at Haydens 4th birthday party. 

(Above) My Aunt Dianne. (Below) my Neighbor Emma. We lost these two wonderful women in 2013, Less than 3 months apart no less.  Their absence has been felt far wide. Not a day goes by that I don't think of one of them. Treasure people in your life...life is far to short to take for granted.  Tell people you love them, show them you care...remember them always.

This year was a very trying year in friendships for me.  There comes a point where you cut ties with those you never thought you would.  Now this isn't a "pity me" comment or anything, I am just telling you how it is.  You grow apart from people. Things happen and even the best of friends become strangers. it is a way of life.  No one is immune.  Do I hold any ill feelings? Not anymore. I am the type who loves unconditionally.  I wish those who aren't in my life anymore the best.  I hope they have great things in store for themselves.  Life goes on.

Little Rock had it's first ever Gay Pride Parade!!!  This is a picture of me and my sister while attending!  I credit her for my open mind.  If it wasn't for her I think this family would have caved to the southern republican ways.  She didn't know she created a crazy liberal monster...well...she knows now :)

I have worked with amazing people over this year.  I can't post pictures of them all but I have amazing co-workers.  They have really helped me find myself this year. I became a stronger woman because of their influence. 

This year, I not only moved mountains, I climbed them. Like I said, 2013 held a lot of personal growth for me. It was about being comfortable in my skin, loving myself, finding myself. It isn't the tallest mountain but you feel amazing at the top.  There is something so magical about the sweat, possible blood, and the aching muscles that you have when you reach the top.  That is MY mountain, I will become even better acquainted with it this year.  So be prepared...I am going to take a picture at the top ever single month.

I found I had a hobby that I never knew I possessed.  I love painting.  Turns out, I'm somewhat decent at it as well.  I never thought I could.  You put yourself into a box of what you can and can't do, and it limits your knowledge of yourself.  I always thought I was the "unartistic" friend.  I had no niche.  My other friends were the painters, photographers, marathon runners...but I had nothing.  This past year, I found out that we can share hats. You never know what you are capable of until you try.  You also never know what you will like until you attempt it. Well..the marathon runners still can have their hat for now.  But In 2015 I'm coming after it!

In conclusion 2013 was the most difficult, most painful, but surprisingly most rewarding year I have had so far.  I have had so many personal triumphs that cannot be overlooked.  I have broken down the walls of my usual comfort zone.  I discovered the woman that was blocked by toxic people.  I am pretty darn snazzy if I do say so myself.

 

I know this blog was even less put together than previous ones...but so was this year.  Life doesn't go in the order you originally plan for it.  It doesn't always make sense. You just have to go with the flow.  Write it down when you can, take pictures every chance you get, and don't forget to smile.

 

I love you all. I hope you stick around to see what happens with life in 2014.

2013 PT 1

I started off 2013 with such high ambition.  It was going to be MY year.  I was going to be an awesome mom, I was going to rock the corporate world, and I was going to make time for friends.  I brought in the New Year with friends and my son.  It was really fun.  For the first time in nearly 4 years I actually stayed up until midnight.  I normally just DVR the ball dropping and watch it the next day. Hey, I'm a mom it's allowed!  Later that month I went out to a club/Bar for the first time really, ever.  It was fun.  Drank too much, Danced too much, lost a few games of pool.  Woke up the next day feeling awful.  I have had less than 5 true hangovers in my life, that being one of them.  Overall it was a blast. 

 

 

 

That night I danced with a boy in my drunken stupor and even ended up kind of dating him for the first few months of the year.  It was a quick but fun little time of life.  It was more of a friendship than anything "romantic" which makes things easier to be happy about later on.  So to you, mystery guy, if you read my blog then thanks.  Even though I swore I hated you for a bit in actuality you were an asset to the year and I wish you the best. 

Moving forward.

 

My little mini monster got his first taste of organized sports this year as well.  If you don't have children then I assure you the cutest thing is seeing 5-8 children running around in a tiny uniform.  They don't keep score when you are that small, which is good because his team was terrible.  I am not sure soccer is our sport, but we will keep trying until we can find one that he likes.  If we don't...we will eventually find something!

 

As for a personal accomplishment of my own, this year I completed the Warrior Dash, my time would probably make some of you athletes cry...but I finished it.  It was one of the most difficult things I think I have ever done, but I did it.  I can't wait to do it again in 2014.  Here is a picture of Ashley and I after we finished the race.  You get a complimentary beer upon completion...even though it wasn't my choice brand, after that it tasted heavenly.

 

 

In June, Hayden and I went to Colorado with my parents.  It was my first real vacation since I was a teenager. It was a bit emotional for me because my grandparents were there too.  Which wasn't the sad part. Living so far away and being a single mom I am often limited on funds. When you get older you realize the people around you are getting older as well and you never know when you will see them next.  I hope I get more visits, but the God's honest truth is you never really know.

Above is Hayden and mom on the trolley, or as he kept calling it "Charlie".

I believe this is Hayden and I in Utah, but It may be New Mexico...Honestly it all looked the same in the Four corners...I mean...it kind of is supposed to.

The Condo we stayed in did not have a blow dryer...and I forgot to bring one. It was probably the best week of my hairs life.  Hayden and I went swimming and as you can see...Mommy burns!

The Panoramic view from in front of the Condo.  Colorado is beautiful guys, I highly Recommend everyone visiting.

Me and the parentals waiting on the Gun Show to start.  Not muscles...like actual Cowboys and guns...in a Saloon

 

 

Overall, I do believe that Colorado is a place that Hayden and I will try to visit a few more times in our lifetimes.  My skin, my hair, my everything was so much better.  The air there was amazing. Even though it was summer, it felt heavenly.

 

June was a just a really fun month for me..also pretty sad.  But we will get around to that.  In June we also went to the circus!  It wasn't quite as fun as the circus' from my childhood...but I was glad that I was able to take my parents to their very first circus.  It is a memory I will remember forever. It helped that I got us some awesome seats too.  This was the same month that one of my very best friends moved about an hour away.  SO...it was a bittersweet month indeed.

Another birthday came and went for my baby boy.  I can't believe that he has reached 4 so quickly. It seems like yesterday that he was a 6 lb baby who needed me to take care of his every need.  Now, he has found independence, which I know is a good thing.  Everyday my love for him grows so much more.  Everyday he teaches me something new about life.  He is my breath of fresh air. 

The snowball effect

It occurred to me tonight that no matter what life throws at me, I'm gonna be ok. You may have noticed a trend in this blog. It is a lot of me saying uplifting things to myself...repeatedly. This entry will be no different. 
While watching tv tonight, I noticed a faint snoring sound coming from the other end of the sofa. It appeared as though my little monster had given up on this day and succumbed to slumber. I went over to pick him up and he wrapped his little arms around my neck. The complete blind faith that he had in me to get him safely from point a, the couch, to point b, his bed, was not lost in me. This caused me to think about the last time that I trusted someone some blindly and with so much faith.
This thought, as with many others, always creates a snowball effect on self discoveries. A friend, who meant no harm at all, also helped me realize something. The jist of our conversation was that my first response to hearing relationship problems is a "no nonsense" type. If someone makes a mistake, if there is a major fight, if anything occurs I am the type that says screw it and moves on...which isn't always a bad thing. Mixed with the lack of blind faith and trust though...it poses a problem.
Had I put a little more effort, gave it a little more time, would any of my previous relationships still be current? I honestly hope not. It does make one wonder though. In life, I believe, that everything you do creates an alternate path. There Is the one choice you made and the next that you didn't. An alternate universe if you will.  Which poses the question, what would alternate universe me be like? Would she be married? Would she have a child? Would she wonder about how spectacular her life would have been if she made the opposite choice?
There are few decisions in my life that I regret, but they do exist. My life has been no walk in the park and it continues to have its share of shitty situations. Which brings me to the first line in this entry, no matter what life throws at me I'm going to be ok. We can choose to live in the "what if's" and think about every single way that we have failed or we haven't tried hard enough...but there are rarely any do-overs in life. You kinda just have to take what you've got, the sitiation that you have, and just roll with it.
I may be a 25 year old single mom who has yet to finish her college degree. Who has yet to find the man of her dreams. Who has yet to become fully comfortable in her own skin...but I'm ok with that.

The ugly truth

There is very little more annoying than looking at old pictures and seeing all the damage you have done to yourself. For me it is especially difficult because I am having to lose the same weight that I lost a mere two years ago. When I first began this blog I was a cheat. I took adepex and that is how I lost all that weight, well here I am two years later with nearly all of it back. The moral of that is it is true what they say...diet and exercise is the only sure way to lose weight and keep it off.
I'm not referring to dieting until the weight comes off, I mean an entire life style change. This year for Christmas I have allowed myself to be a little on the selfish side. I have purchased Turbofire and the entire Zumba program.
With the help of some friends and a new outlook on it, I am going to rid myself of this extra weight once and for all. I have no intention of ever seeing the scale with those numbers ever again. Which leads me into my firat proposition...
After the first of the year,  I am tossing my scale. It is a mean little device that has only one purpose in life and that is to reduce confident, strong, and beautiful people into self-loathing jerkfaces. I use the term jerk-face out of love...because honestly, that is what we become. We get focused on the number and we get downright hateful to our bodies. These amazing things that turn caloric intake into fuel to keep us going, that absorbs vitamin D from pure sunlight, our bodies are works of art.
I am probably one of the worst people in my life. No one holds a candle to how I talk to myself. I am disrespectful,  ungrateful, resentful,  and more than one kind of degrading.  If I spoke to someone. else the way that I spoke to myself...I could not only get my ass kick, but surly someone would press charges.  Why do you think we do that? No one has ever told me I was to fat, except for me.
To be honest, I can count the number of times someone (not including myself) has made negative remarks about my weight on my hands. Out of 25 years, those are pretty good numbers. Most people tend to tell me that I am beautiful,  that I am amazing, and that they wish they could have some one of my features. Yet, negative Nancy that I am, I constantly beat myself up over this bodily dismorphia that I have created inside. 
Every year I make the exact same resolution: to lose weight and to love myself...obviously I have failed everytime becuase I am still going to that goal. This year will be different though, because I have all of you. My main support. The ones who lift me up when I fall down. The ones who shower me with compliments when all I want to is hide in a dark room where no one can see me  and most importantly for you that refuse to let me wallow in self pity and move me to get up and be the person that you all fell in love with.
A friend once told me that I inspired her to be fabulous. It is one of the greatest compliments that I have ever received.  I, myself, have forgotten what it feels like to think yourself fabulous. In 2014 I am going to remember, this isn't just about fitting into a smaller pant size or the size of my cheeks when I smile,  its about falling in love with myself.  It's about inspiring people to feel fabulous.  It's about leaving a positive influence to the world. It's about loving the skin yhat you are in.
I plan on blogging more during the upcoming year, holding myself more accountable.  Charting my progress, and showing people that if I can do Iran, anyone can. In my personal life I agve had to demonstrate my strength on moreover than one occasion.  I can do this. So long as I want to, I can accomplish anything.

Xoxo

***authors note: this entry was written via my cell phone. If there are any misspellings or grammatical errors then I wouldn't be surprised. I don't have auto correct, just annoying predict-a-text, and these buttons are rather small.****

Why I refuse to be pinkwashed this year

Call me bitter if you will, and maybe I am. Do the math. Lets just say that to register for the race it will cost you 25 dollars. Multiply that by say...25,000 people that is over 600,000 dollars for just that. Not to mention all the fundraising those 25,000 people may do plus the merchandise on sale.  So from one race, just ONE race the Susan G komen foundation pulls in nearly 1 million dollars. Now multiply that by the number of races they have and I ask you...where is this money going? After all these years are they any closer to finding a cure?! 
Like I said, I'm bitter. What about all the other aggressive and deadly cancers?! Ovarian and colon to just name a few. Why do we not have bigger fundraisers for them? Instead of a breast cancer walk why do we not just have a cancer walk?! Furthermore...St.Jude. why do we not willingly shell out billions of dollars a year to them?! I donate regularly to the hospital, because they dont sugar coat where the money goes. You know that when you give money to St. Jude it is so that a parent at the worst time in their life doesn't have to worry about a single expense while their child is there. The money that goes for Susan G Komen won't be there for me if I ever get breast cancer.
Breast cancer awareness is very important. I agree. What I don't agree with is how they seem to have the monopoly over cancer research funds. Why can't we work together to obliterate cancers of all kinds? It took doctors less than a week to find the healing remedy for a fast acting bacterial menegitus and save a girl. Less than a week. So in all these years an entire team hasn't been able to figure out cancer?  I just dont buy it anymore. 
If you have had or currently have breast cancer I do feel for you, and I know that the support that is felt from races like this is very uplifting to someone who has been there. I get it. I just don't get why we haven't heard a breakthrough yet. Why people are still dying? Why awareness isnt being brought to more? Why mammograms are being pushed back to every few years and the same with paps? I just dont understand. And dont you dare blame It on obamacare bc that will only solidify the ignorance of the American people.
I do hope you all have a grand time, but be sure to ask yourself if you know where your money is really going.