What would happen if I asked God to take over my life? What would happen? If I stopped and just listened to that voice in my mind telling me what to do, would life be easier? It seems to me that fighting g that voice has only created problems for me. Then again had I listened I wouldn't have my son, and he is the greatest gift of all.
I keep telling myself that I want to start going back to church and I want my son to grow up in a strong faith based home. Since I am his sole caregiver and his biological father has abandoned all hope of having a relationship with him, I have to be the leader of my household. I have I be strong and he will be strong. I wants son to avoid all the trials and tribulations that I have had to discover on my own without listening to God.
I am still on my cebatical of no men. I intend to keep that. I have made it this far I can make it the rest of the way. I need to strengthen my relationship with the LORD. Once I do that I truly believe that everything else will just fall into place. So I ask you all to pray for me, pray for my strength to step up and be a spiritual leader, my strength to fully confide in God. I need a lot of prayers to help get this right. I need to get my faith back, back and strong.
I know God has a plan and a reason for everything, and its not for me to understand. I just wish I had a little insight as to his plans for everything he has thrown at my son. To be so young and have a dad who has treated him the way he has...I just...I wish I knew why. I pray constantly that I will have the right words when my son asks me about why...please God give me the answer when the time comes...