I cheated. I snuck on to Facebook tonight to look around. It was immediately a bad idea. If you set a goal for yourself and you break it, there is always a reminder around the corner on why you wanted that goal in the first place.
Happiness is deserved by everyone. To say I am jealous because someone is undeserving isn't true. I do have a bitter seed inside my soul that is growing though. Seeing all the bridal pictures, beautiful wedding pictures, Facebook relationship status changes from "in a relationship" to "engaged" sparks a tiny flame inside my soul. These people I see deserve happiness, that is undeniable. But don't I deserve it too?
Have I done so much wrong in my Life? been to impatient? Has that made me undeserving? I don't know. Everyone has something that they are so incredibly jealous and envious of...this is mine. I want a happily ever after.
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get it. Will I be one of those women that time forgets? Did the stars forget to pick a soul mate for me? Is the other half of my moon stone just blank? I know not a good catch right now. I have a lot of work to do on myself before I can expect anyone else to love me. I do love me...but do I love me enough?
This entry is rather "dark" and deep. More so than previous entries. I'm allowed. I just desperately want my prince charming. I know good things happen to those who wait...but it's already been almost 24 years...how long is this supposed to take?