My marriage was over before it even began. In fact, it should have never began. There were so many signs (I've talked about them in a previous post) that I should have just walked away. I truly believe there comes a point in most womens lives when they become a mother, that they lose themselves. It's like you are sitting in a large pool and you are treading water. Without help or someone to throw you a floatie you get very tired and become desparate for something. Unfortunately for me what I thought was a life vest was merely a 3 dollar floatie with a slow leak.
The "mom-cycle" as I like to refer to it is the time in a young mothers life when everything she was before she had her baby, leaves. For me...it was I gained back all the weight I had lost after child birth, I grew my hair back out long and wore it up most the time, got glasses I hated because they were cheap, stopped wearing make up...just stopped. For those of you that really know me, you know that makeup is like a drug for me. I believe that in order to do your best you must feel your best and make up makes you feel pretty. I do my make up for me, not anyone else though. You also know that I love my hair shorter, it just looks better. I love my "emo" glasses and I don't want to be "fat". I want to be the old fat me...which is slowly coming along.
This day one year ago was the day someone threw me a dependable life vest and my head was finally back above the water. I could breathe again. That's the moment I knew that I had to get out of the pool and bring me back. It has been such a long journey. Over the last year I have changed considerably.
(TOP) This was a picture of me at Haydens Second birthday party. Also pictured is my dear friend Naomi and her beautiful son Bryce. I already had my hair cut in the picture but I was still so big.
(BOTTOM) This was about two months ago. As you can see I have gained my independence. I have reclaimed myself. I got away from the man smothering me and trying to force me into a person I didn't want to be. I broke out of the "Mom" shell that so many women fall into after child birth.. I am finally reaching a point where i am happy about myself. I am posting pictures of my self again. That is huge!!
(BOTTOM) This was about two months ago. As you can see I have gained my independence. I have reclaimed myself. I got away from the man smothering me and trying to force me into a person I didn't want to be. I broke out of the "Mom" shell that so many women fall into after child birth.. I am finally reaching a point where i am happy about myself. I am posting pictures of my self again. That is huge!!
So however you celebrated Independence day, I hope you did something for yourself. To ensure your independence as a woman, man, wife, husband, daughter, son...whatever titles you hold. I hope you found a little bit of the you that may have gotten lost or overshadowed by something.
Laters baby!
Laters baby!
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