Time to change...

There has been quite an unnoticed absence on my part. There is no explanation...just slacking.

I have fallen off of the bandwagon do many times it's insane. This blog started off as a weight loss blog but I failed at that, slowly it turned into just a regular blog. All in all that is fine too. Weight loss is more than just counting calories, exercising, eating healthy, and measuring. In order to get maximum results you must be able to release your emotions so that you will not resort to food.

In August it will be a year since my weight loss journey started. I have not lost as much by now as I had hoped...and that is ok. I do have hope for my weight to be back down and my pre-pregnancy jeans to fit by November. Dieting isn't a temporary thing, it's a lifestyle change.

I started a support group on Facebook for weightloss and overall health. People can give tips, encouragement to others, and vent on their moments of weakness to get support from others. Although, most don't comment I know that it helps me to be able to throw it all out there and just be real with people. Accountability is what helps me.

I have also started to assemble my race for the cure team. I am so very excited about that! In preparation for this event my sister and I are going to start walking a few nights a week. I encourage you all to do something similar. Grab a few friends and just head out a few nights. Walking is the best exercise you can do.

My thoughts tend to be very scatterbrained. Onto the next one: I am considering having my own coat drive for the winter. I would probably hold it in mid October. Please let me know of you are interested in helping to organize it or if you would like to donate. It will be more so a winter clothing drive. I really feel as though volunteer work is something I want to get more involved it.

When people consider change in Their lifestyles, they mostly consider their physical appearance. Dieting, hair styles, tanning, and other superficial things. I am going to a full min and body make over. You cannot expect to change one without the other. please remember that. It is very important to give back, to do something more than merely walking along in life. You don't have to be incredible to do incredible things. Jut because you aren't the smallest, don't have the best legs, biggest breast, greatest job, it doesn't matter. The foot print you leave on the world can be bigger than you ever imagined. Just be sure to give back.

Stop the assholes

Seriously...how about we all stop being such assholes to one another?! When did it get this way? For example: you see someone you know at Walmart, they see you. You turn away and keep walking. Would it kill any of us to freaking smile and wave? Or at least smile!? I'm not excluding myself from this either. From this moment on I vow that if I see any of you and I recognize you I will smile at least! And if I know you see me and then you advert your eyes quickly be prepared for me to walk right up to you and force you to have a simple conversation with me. So you decide: get your head out of your ass and smile or be forced to talk to me. I dont care which one but this has gone on far to long.

I'm a nice person. I'm done. So take this as a warning. Wave or chat. And I promise to do the same. Take this challenge with me. Let's stop the assholes and most importantly let's not join them.

10 things.

One thing I have learned about myself over the years is...I really do know who I am. A lot of people walk around every day with no real sense of what or hi they are. I on the other hand, know myself. I know my fears, why motivates me, what I can handle, how I am going to react to a situation, what I want to do...I know me. So, being inspired from a YouTube vlog craze going on right now I have decide to blog 10 things you might not know about me. So here goes:

1. I can not whistle. I have never been able to. Many people have tried to tech me but I fail miserably. I can make all sorts of other noises but if my life came down to whistling...I'd die.
2. I hate Black Eyed Peas...the food AND the band. Both disgust me.
3. I am a very creative person. I can write a poem or a short story about anything. I can take a picture of anything beautiful and make it better. And I love to make things...whether or not those are good depends!
4. I do not know how to swim. Well not enough to save my life if needed. Never learned, I don't like my face under water and my feet to not touch.
5. I believe in Ghosts...and they scare the snot out of me. That's the reason I am scare of the dark. I still have to hurry in bed out of fear that my ankles will get grabbed.
6. I am flexible. I can't put my feet behind my head or anything but I can reach at least 6 inches past my feet while sitting down and my fingers can touch the back of my wrist...that looks really gross though.
7. My favorite color is green. It's the color of my eyes, money, avocados, an I just love it. Best color in the world.
8. I am a hopeless romantic. I am not the damsel in distress kind of girl but I do fancy the occasional romance. I am a sucker for romantic comedies and I do get a bit emotional while reading/watching them
9. I listen to every kind of music. If I can sing along to it, bob my head, make up my own words...I like it. Which makes me a real easy road trip buddy :)
10. I am a complete mess. My desk at work has to be cleaned every night before I leave or I have a panic attack lol but my car has papers all over from my sons school and my room has clothes everywhere. I constantly misplace my debit card, I forget to text back...I'm a mess, a very forgetful mess.

I hope you all learned a thing or two. I have many random facts about myself but those are the very first ten that popped into my mind. If you read this feel free to reply with ten random facts about you :)

He who strengthens me...

What would happen if I asked God to take over my life? What would happen? If I stopped and just listened to that voice in my mind telling me what to do, would life be easier? It seems to me that fighting g that voice has only created problems for me. Then again had I listened I wouldn't have my son, and he is the greatest gift of all.
I keep telling myself that I want to start going back to church and I want my son to grow up in a strong faith based home. Since I am his sole caregiver and his biological father has abandoned all hope of having a relationship with him, I have to be the leader of my household. I have I be strong and he will be strong. I wants son to avoid all the trials and tribulations that I have had to discover on my own without listening to God.
I am still on my cebatical of no men. I intend to keep that. I have made it this far I can make it the rest of the way. I need to strengthen my relationship with the LORD. Once I do that I truly believe that everything else will just fall into place. So I ask you all to pray for me, pray for my strength to step up and be a spiritual leader, my strength to fully confide in God. I need a lot of prayers to help get this right. I need to get my faith back, back and strong.

I know God has a plan and a reason for everything, and its not for me to understand. I just wish I had a little insight as to his plans for everything he has thrown at my son. To be so young and have a dad who has treated him the way he has...I just...I wish I knew why. I pray constantly that I will have the right words when my son asks me about why...please God give me the answer when the time comes...

Accountability

What an eventful 48 hours I have had. Friday on the way home from work I got into a car accident. It was completely my fault. I wasn't paying enough attention to what I was doing. Everyone thinks they are immune to something and youre not. I though "it won't happen to me" and it did. Luckily I was not seriously injured and neither was the person I smashed into. I will say that I am relieved I hit a man with a truck who was by himself. It occurred to me that my lack of attention could have costed me or someone else their life. Had I hit a motorcycle or a small car with a baby in it...idk it just makes me sick to think about How stupid I was.

I spent most of my Saturday shopping for a new car because mine was totaled and I had liability only. So I am now the owner of a 2012 Nissan Sentra. It's a nice car and I am excited to have it...just not under the current circumstance. They had to order it because it seems like now days car lots only keep the super loaded cars there...I don't need super loaded...I just need semi loaded. So I should have it by Wednesday. I have a loaner car until then.

I just want to express how important road safety is. Keep your cell phones away from you while driving. Whatever it is can wait until you reach where you are going or until you make a pit stop. The lives that could be at stake for you checking that one message or dialing that one number is simply not worth it.

I held it together until my dad showed up and then I just cried and cried, pulled it back together and then when I got home and saw my son (who was not in the car with me) I just lost it. I held him and I just cried. I couldn't help but think about the what if...and I should think about them. It's important to know how lucky I was and all the damage that I could have caused.

I have included a few pictures of my injuries which aren't much at all. Just fr the airbags. I will post pictures of the car when I see it.

Before starting P90X

This is my before P90X post. These pictures are about a month old and I have actually gained one lb since this picture. I actually like these pictures though. For those of you who have been following along you know that this is far from the beginning of my weight loss journey. I started at the end of August weighing in at roughly 205. I kick started my journey with phentermine, which if your bmi is high enough your doctor may prescribe it to you.

One important thing to remember when you are losing weight is that be Leary of people who come out of the woodwork. Naturally you will spark more interest from the opposite sex, but it's not always good interest. Be sure to keep the friends you have because friends tend to not wear the same rose colored glasses as we do. Just trust me on this one.

I have always been chunky...or at least I always thought so. Looking back I can see how people thought I was nuts. What I am trying to say here is that your self image is much worse than everyone else sees you. You are your worst critic. If you start losing weight make sure it's because you want to. Not because you want someone else to like you or pay attention to you. The only way you will successfully lose weight and keep it off is if you are doing it To make yourself happy.

So like I said, I ordered P90X the other day and the tracking says I will probably receive it tomorrow. I haven't fully decided if I will start the day I get it...but then again this is about throwing all the excuses I know out to the wind. I need to buckle down and get serious. It's time for a change. I need to be on shape enough to kep up with my son as he grows.

I am thinking about starting a YouTube video blog to go along with my 90 day P90X challenge. I will let you all know what I decide.

Love ya mean it!

P90X

Well I accidentally ordered this. I say accident yea, don't judge. So I shall take it as a sign and when it comes in my 90 day challenge will begin. Get ready.